When I was growing up, there were very few Asian faces on television. I mean, real Asians and not the buck-toothed, slanty eyed Tojos that appared in the Bugs Bunny wartime cartoons. The only ones I can remember are Mrs. Livingston (Miyoshi Umeki) on the Courtship of Eddie's Father, Kato (Bruce Lee) from the Green Hornet and Hop Sing from Bonanza. Each was a second banana to the white folks but to me, they were the most memorable on the shows. While none of them spoke English without a distinctive "Oriental" accent, they always seemed to do so with a "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" (to quote Eric Idle from Monty Python) to those of us of the yellow persuasion, as if to emphasize that the whole coolie thing was just a great performance by a skilled actor. Think about it, the first Asian woman to win an Academy Award, who had her own variety show on TV, could only get on prime time by playing a submissive housekeeper.
The only Asian family I remember on television when I was little was the cartoon folk from Charlie Chan and the Chan Clan. Charlie was straight from the movies, always talking like a walking fortune cookie, but at least the kids spoke perfect unaccented English. Sure they were painted in an odd ochre hue and had eyes slanted like a sliding board but they were clearly Asian-American.
Things got a little better as I grew up. Pat Morita stole every scene as Arnold on Happy Days. He was cooler than the Fonz and totally hilarious. Sure the occasional semi-racist joke was made but he would deliver it in such a smart and snarky way that it was biting. I didn't even cringe in the one episode where he married his picture bride from Japan. Hated the show Mr. T and Tina that he did after Happy Days though.
Then came All American Girl with my "separated at birth" twin, Margaret Cho. That family was crazy but every Asian person could relate - the braniac favored son, the parents obsessed over education, the kind of nuts Grandma. I knew it was dead meat. So it was back to the Long Duk Dong types of Asian images - braniac math nerds, photo taking Japanese tourists, Stick-up-the-butt Japanese salarymen obsessed with blonde strippers.
When reality TV hit, yellow was pretty much non-existent. The only Asian faces were from game shows imported from Japan which emphasized "those nutty, nutty rice eaters". In terms of home grown folk, there was Pam from The Real World San Francisco who was pretty much the sanest person there (as much as you can be living with someone like Puck). She was every Okaasan's dream - a physician, well spoken and well, funky. And who can forget super hunky Yul Kwan, the (again) educational overachieving Asian winner of Survivor who was drop dead gorgeous? He didn't walk around naked like Richard Hatch (shucks), scheme or stab people behind their backs like the "usual" inscrutable Oriental. He was a smart, strong guy who played clean. He's still my Yellow Fever dream.
For my kids, Asian imagery has been a mixed bag. They have seen the rise of the cool Asian courtesy of MTV's America's Best Dance Crew's jabbawokkees, Kaba Modern and We are Heroes as well as Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls. Suddenly, being Asian was trendy and our logos and faces were plastered everywhere. Their favorite comedian is Bobby Lee from MAD Tv (even the Mad Cow's who is nagging to go to Bobby's upcoming Honolulu show) and I occasionally catch them reading Giant Robot, a magazine published by a Japanese American and a Chinese American which focuses on current and trendy Asian American culture (never thought you'd hear those words together, did you?).
In the past few weeks, the inroads made by Asian Americans have been destroyed by the hapa guy everyone loves to hate, Jon Goesselin, and that bisexual disaster, Tila Tequila. Once Kate Gosselin got her extensions, anyone on Team Jon jumped ship to Team Kate. Yes, people did criticize her about spending 20 hours away from her kids getting extensions and insanely screeching when they washed her hair in the bathtub but that stopped once photos appeared of Jon with his new squeeze, another 23 year old airhead heiress. He's just a gigolo after all, I guess. Hey, you have to pay your child support some way and I'm sure it's a lot more physically rewarding to con a young stupid girl than a dried up old cougar!
I don't even know what to say about Tila Tequila. I admit I did watch "Shot at Love" on MTV, mostly for the Jerry Springer factor. Since I'm coming clean, I did watch "Another Shot at Love" also but I didn't cry when she got dumped by the lesbian she chose at the end who (surprise, surprise) decided that she was actually straight but I did feel sorry for pool little mentally confused Tila though. As I watch her stumble around Hollywood in the midst of her "grief" over the death of her wife, I know that in the next few weeks, Entertainment Tonight will report her obit at the hands of herself. She is the yellow Lindsay Lohan. I mean, when you can only get press for partying with the Guidos and Guidettes of Jersey Shore, it is time to find a real job.
The Diva accuses me of being a stage mom and always trying to get her and the boys in front of the camera for any inane reason. It's not just me. Oscar the Grouch arranged for all of us to have dinner at Cha Cha Cha in Hawaii Kai last night so the kids could be in a 15 second TV commercial (although I don't know if it was for a fleeting minute of fame for the kids or for free food, I'm betting free food). As Asians go wild on tv, perhaps it is time just to let the kids shine out of the spotlight for a while.
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