Another one bites the dust.
Everyone's favorite Caublasian, Tiger Woods, has joined the ranks of professional athletes who enjoy a side salad on occasion. People seem totally surprised, not because of his squeaky clean image but because the golf club swinging Mrs. Woods is a gorgeous blonde. (Now, I hate to stoop to the gutter but I can't resist sharing this joke I heard on the radio. What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.) It's like if she was a toad, it would be understandable but who cheats on someone who could easily pass for one of Hugh Hefner's rotating aryan girlfriends? That is the kind of woman you cheat WITH not cheat ON - or so says the pundits on every news channel on TV.
I am stunned by how much analysis is going on about this whole issue, mostly about the women involved in the scandal. There was a discussion on CNN about the commonality amongst skanks who get involved in affairs with high profile men. The argument was they are all "exotic in appearance" (if you consider blonde highlights and spray-tans mystical), are involved in "careers" that are not very mentally challenging and have enhanced their chesticles in some manner. So, if you are a big boobed cocktail waitress with a bleach job who hangs out by the hotel pool all day, chances are you will snag yourself a married basketball player as your secret lover. If you don't have the tan but have all the other aspects, you will become George Clooney's flavor of the day.
The spotlight now has turned from the mistresses to the Mommys. Tiger's mom and mother-in-law were apparently at the scene of the accident and if you listen closely to the 9-11 call, you can hear Tiger's mom's voice in the background. Well, at least it is assumed to be Tiger's mom by the media since the voice has an accent. You know, all of us Yellow folk sound like Hop Sing on Bonanza, especially under stress. Speculation is running rampant on why Mama Tiger and MIL were at the house.
Now, being an Asian Mama myself, I would not only have given the golf club to Elin, I would have grabbed my own 5-iron and socked my kid in his eggroll! Even if Mom was less than thrilled that Tiger brought home an Elin and not an Emiko, once those kidlets were popped out, they became the priority. You know how Okaasans are when it comes to preserving the home that their grandchildren live in. Yellow Mom may love you but once you give her grandchildren, you no longer exist in the pantheon of adoration. You were only born so you could someday give your mom a grandchild, kind of like that kid who was conceived so she could donate a kidney to a sibling. Your only purpose of being conceived by Mom and Dad were to someday be a surrogate or sperm donor to create your Mom's grandchild. Once those grandbabies are here, your only worth to your parents is to pick up what they want from Costco since they don't want to shell out money to buy their own memberships.
Someone on CNN said the reason so many well-known celebrities cheat (even if they are married to drop dead gorgeous women( comes down to opportunity, they simply have more cho-cho offered to them for free than the average Joe. It's like finding a dollar on the street. Some people may not pick it up because it is dirty and they don't know where it's been. Other people may only pick it up after making sure it doesn't belong to anyone. Some people may just leave it there because they are happy with the money they have in their wallets. Some people are so oblivious to other things they may not even know it is there. Now, imagine you are walking down the street and it starts RAINING dollar bills and you are the only person around. Wouldn't you be tempted to take at least one, figuring nobody will ever know? Of course, there are some who would grab the nearest huge net and pick up every fricking dollar bill in sight. Would it really matter if you have $10 in your wallet when there are hundreds off $1 bills floating around?
Why is it that we don't hear as many stories about famous married women being caught in torrid affairs? All we hear are reports of formerly-straight female celebs who are coming out as lesbians. Kelly McGillis from Top Gun and (gasp now), Meredith Baxter Birney of Family Ties and every Lifetime Movie of the Week that involves killing your husband. Yes, Alex P. Keaton's Mom is gay (as was the late Mr. Brady in case you have been living in a cave for the past 30 years).
I guess for females, once you go back hair, you never go back there.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Taco Bell Mo' Bettah
The family has been on a major Jones for Mexican food recently. This has been fueled by Oscar the Grouch's penchant for buying anything from any store within a 20 mile radius from home that is listed on the Star Bulletin's Bidding Advantage promotion. He learned the hard way to stick to gift certificates for food as the items that dealt with in kind stuff never worked out. He'd either forget to pick up the voucher at the Star Bulletin or it would turn out to be something we really never used. One year, he bought a $200 gift certificate for Aiea Bowl thinking it could be used for food at the Alley Restaurant (we were heavily into the Lemon Crunch Cake back then). I think we used it one time and it went into storage for a year or so. Thank goodness, the Mad Cow ended up joining a league so we can now use the card. We did finally use it up at his cosmic bowling birthday party in September.
The most recent purchases were for KFC (used at one trip since the Professor ate 2 of those Famous Bowls and the Diva had a large box of wings. Throw in those funky drinks and the $50 went up in smoke) and for Caliente del Sol at the Safeway Kapahulu mini-mall. We used up most of it but still had $20 leftover. It expired today and I knew $20 would not cover the three' kids meals (let alone 5 of us) so I decided to use it on lunch for my friend and co-worker AS and myself.
I called in the order at 11:00 am and was told that the menu had just changed that morning. AS is a vegetarian and I'm trying to be one again so I asked them what they had that was veggie. The answer I got was "NOTHING" (albeit a very polite nothing). The person asked me to hold and he would see if they could do anything vegetarian. He came back and said they could make us a veggie burrito which was basically a regular burrito without meat. Since we had no other choice, I ordered two of the burritos and said I'd pick them up at 1 pm.
I got there at 1 pm and was told that my order wasn't there. In fact, nobody knew where the order form was for the order. They did remember that I called because it was "way too early". I should have known that was not a good sign. Here they had screwed up and were blaming me for not calling in my order in a timely manner.
After digging through their stack of receipts, they finally found our order but nothing had been written down. All it said was two burritos. There was some discussion on what a vegetarian burrito was before the staff came to the consensus that they would make a regular burrito but just leave the meat off. It would have been hilarious if I wasn't already kind of irked about the whole thing. Listening to them was like listening to that Rap Replinger bit about "Cheeseburga' wit' or without cheese?" "Oh, Cheeseburga' wit' one side orda cheese."
Since our order came out to $13, I was told they would not give me back the change. As the certificate expired today, I said I would just order something else. I ordered cheese nachos which we have had in the past from the place and it was HUGE. The three kids would share an order and leave about half of it. It was that much food. That putmy total at $20.91.
They did offer to give me a free soda for the hassle but I passed on that and went to Safeway to kill time. When I got back, my order was up but without the sauces. I had to wait for that to be taken care of (Ranchero for AS and Chili Verde for me).
When I got to work and opened my box, it was really disappointing and I kind of felt ripped off. There were 5 Dorito-sized tortilla chips (yes, I counted) and a green salad that looked like and was the size of the lettuce that sits on a Big Mac. It was really awful and pathetic looking, like what you'd see sitting on the plate of someone who had finished eating. The burrito was 90% rice, 5% beans (not refried but canned chili beans) and a few pieces of undercooked zucchini and eggplant. It was like eating a musubi in a tortilla - very bland and very rice-y. I had to literally pour on the sauce for it to have any flavor. The burrito was $5.99 which seemed like a deal on paper but was a total rip off. I could have gotten a $1.49 musubi from 7-11 which had the same amount of rice and much more flavor. I really felt like I had wasted $5 (make that $10 on two).
What was even more upsetting was the box of greasy chips that were passed off as cheese nachos ($6.99). My best guess is that the styrofoam box held maybe 2 cups of chips if even that. Again, the chips seemed like they had come out of a bag from Sam's Club or something, they were clearly not fresh or made there. There was maybe a tablespoon or two of melted cheese (again, totally flavorless and clearly from a bulk bag of cheapy stuff), a teeny dollop of sour cream and a pinch of something green which I am assuming was guacamole. Again, a total rip off. The kids usually scarf these down without breathing but they each ate one chip and put the box down "for the dog" (who also did not eat the chips that were left for her on the ground. Rip off of the entire amount of money.
I am glad that I used the whole gift certificate since I never want to eat there again. It was undoubtedly the most unpleasant meal I have had in ages. Even with it being theoretically half off since Oscar bought $50 of gift certificate for $25, I still feel like it was a rip off. I wouldn't have paid even $5 for that meal. Like I said, I would have gotten a musubi and some of that crank out velveeta nachos from 7-11 and been much happier and not felt as financially violated.
My guess is that in less than amonth, this place will be gone. Normally, I feel saddened when a small business in my neighborhood has to shut its doors but with this place, it will be better for everyone.
As my hairdresser said this weekend, "you know a Mexican place is bad when the food from Taco Bell is much more better."
Hey, compared to this place, Taco Bell is at Alan Wong's level.
The most recent purchases were for KFC (used at one trip since the Professor ate 2 of those Famous Bowls and the Diva had a large box of wings. Throw in those funky drinks and the $50 went up in smoke) and for Caliente del Sol at the Safeway Kapahulu mini-mall. We used up most of it but still had $20 leftover. It expired today and I knew $20 would not cover the three' kids meals (let alone 5 of us) so I decided to use it on lunch for my friend and co-worker AS and myself.
I called in the order at 11:00 am and was told that the menu had just changed that morning. AS is a vegetarian and I'm trying to be one again so I asked them what they had that was veggie. The answer I got was "NOTHING" (albeit a very polite nothing). The person asked me to hold and he would see if they could do anything vegetarian. He came back and said they could make us a veggie burrito which was basically a regular burrito without meat. Since we had no other choice, I ordered two of the burritos and said I'd pick them up at 1 pm.
I got there at 1 pm and was told that my order wasn't there. In fact, nobody knew where the order form was for the order. They did remember that I called because it was "way too early". I should have known that was not a good sign. Here they had screwed up and were blaming me for not calling in my order in a timely manner.
After digging through their stack of receipts, they finally found our order but nothing had been written down. All it said was two burritos. There was some discussion on what a vegetarian burrito was before the staff came to the consensus that they would make a regular burrito but just leave the meat off. It would have been hilarious if I wasn't already kind of irked about the whole thing. Listening to them was like listening to that Rap Replinger bit about "Cheeseburga' wit' or without cheese?" "Oh, Cheeseburga' wit' one side orda cheese."
Since our order came out to $13, I was told they would not give me back the change. As the certificate expired today, I said I would just order something else. I ordered cheese nachos which we have had in the past from the place and it was HUGE. The three kids would share an order and leave about half of it. It was that much food. That putmy total at $20.91.
They did offer to give me a free soda for the hassle but I passed on that and went to Safeway to kill time. When I got back, my order was up but without the sauces. I had to wait for that to be taken care of (Ranchero for AS and Chili Verde for me).
When I got to work and opened my box, it was really disappointing and I kind of felt ripped off. There were 5 Dorito-sized tortilla chips (yes, I counted) and a green salad that looked like and was the size of the lettuce that sits on a Big Mac. It was really awful and pathetic looking, like what you'd see sitting on the plate of someone who had finished eating. The burrito was 90% rice, 5% beans (not refried but canned chili beans) and a few pieces of undercooked zucchini and eggplant. It was like eating a musubi in a tortilla - very bland and very rice-y. I had to literally pour on the sauce for it to have any flavor. The burrito was $5.99 which seemed like a deal on paper but was a total rip off. I could have gotten a $1.49 musubi from 7-11 which had the same amount of rice and much more flavor. I really felt like I had wasted $5 (make that $10 on two).
What was even more upsetting was the box of greasy chips that were passed off as cheese nachos ($6.99). My best guess is that the styrofoam box held maybe 2 cups of chips if even that. Again, the chips seemed like they had come out of a bag from Sam's Club or something, they were clearly not fresh or made there. There was maybe a tablespoon or two of melted cheese (again, totally flavorless and clearly from a bulk bag of cheapy stuff), a teeny dollop of sour cream and a pinch of something green which I am assuming was guacamole. Again, a total rip off. The kids usually scarf these down without breathing but they each ate one chip and put the box down "for the dog" (who also did not eat the chips that were left for her on the ground. Rip off of the entire amount of money.
I am glad that I used the whole gift certificate since I never want to eat there again. It was undoubtedly the most unpleasant meal I have had in ages. Even with it being theoretically half off since Oscar bought $50 of gift certificate for $25, I still feel like it was a rip off. I wouldn't have paid even $5 for that meal. Like I said, I would have gotten a musubi and some of that crank out velveeta nachos from 7-11 and been much happier and not felt as financially violated.
My guess is that in less than amonth, this place will be gone. Normally, I feel saddened when a small business in my neighborhood has to shut its doors but with this place, it will be better for everyone.
As my hairdresser said this weekend, "you know a Mexican place is bad when the food from Taco Bell is much more better."
Hey, compared to this place, Taco Bell is at Alan Wong's level.
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