I'll Miss You, TK

There are very few people in the world that I would consider truly pure of heart, people without a single drop of evil or maliciousness in them, people that I would trust with my life. The two brothers in the photo above are precious beings like that and now one of them is gone. My heart is so empty and I find myself holding back tears all day long. I truly feel like the world is much more dark and ugly now that my beautiful brother, TK (with the brown shirt), has gone to another place. My heart hurts even more when I think of how EK will carry on without him.

You would never see EK without TK nearby. They were always together - if not physically, always spiritually and mentally. Their connection was so close. I really envied the sibling relationship they had - I think it was even closer than the bond my twins have. Whenever you were in their presence, they would pull you into their closeness and you would feel like you knew them forever, like you were their true blood sister and not some geeky little Buddhahead girl hanging on every word these wonderful New Caledonian/French brothers shared. They taught me the joy of self-expression - how to take simple materials and make them beautiful, how to speak through your art when your voice was silent, how something made with 50 cents of seed beads felt priceless when they gave it to you.

Mostly what I learned from them was not to judge a book by it's cover. I have to admit when I first met them, I was totally intimidated by them. They had a powerful presence and looked me straight in the eyes when I walked in. I mean, who does that, right? Most times when people meet you for the first time, they are kind of standoffish or avoid making eye contact. There is usually a social distance which unfortunately, most of us accept as normal. So, I was tempted to play Japanese tourist, feign an inability to speak English and quickly head out the door. But then they smiled and said, "Oh, you're the one who got suckered into making dreamcatchers" and any apprehension I had melted. They were so welcoming and funny that I was drawn in. One look into their twinkling blue eyes (nobody in the world has eyes like TK and EK - Sinatra would be jealous) and you knew you were dealing with the real thing. Real people who lived true lives and who worried about you when you were worried about them. After a few minutes, I knew I has been blessed by the universe to have met them.

When I think of them, I cannot help but think of that hokey song by the Osmonds called, "He's not heavy, he's my brother". That really was the way that TK lived his life. No correct that, it wasn't HIS life but their life. He did not make a decision without wondering how that would impact his older brother. Where we whine about having to be the Mom taxi on the weekends or grumble about taking our parents to the doctor, TK never said one word about the lifelong commitment he had made to care for EK. That's just how it was and that was that. I cannot remember a time when he ever told a story that began with just "I did" or "I thought". It was always "My brother and I" or "We did". That's why a lot of people didn't even know their names but just knew them as "The Brothers". You would go to a pow wow and people would come up and ask, "Where's the Brothers?" Everyone knew exactly who they meant.

I will always treasure the moments I spent in TK's presence. He was patient and gentle. He was creative and caring. He was always thirsting to learn more about life and cultures far away. I always wondered if he thought about how different his life would have been if he had been selfish and walked his path alone. But I knew that this would have never crossed his mind as he did not approach life as most of egocentric folk do.

I can still see the twinkle in his eye whenever we all got together. I can still hear his laugh when we all grimaced hearing EK tell the story of the bat in the pot of lard. I can still feel the calmness and peace that I felt whenever I sat next to him beading. I see the way he hunched over when he walked, his big brown leather belt, how he flicked his ponytail back when he was making a point, and the way he always kept an eye out for his brother.

Recently, I have been dealing with a lot of negative people in my life. People who I considered to be friends, who I thought had goodness in their hearts but have shown themselves to be morally corrupt and self-serving. People who justify being mean as part of the job. People who can look you in the face while robbing you blind. People who are just no-good but never seem to get the bachi they deserve. I have to admit that I've wondered why these bad people seem to live charmed lives while good people seem to get the shaft over and over again. In the past few weeks, I have felt depressed and hopeless dealing with these people. I feel like a hypocrite telling the kids to walk the right path when all of those people running on the wrong one are getting ahead.

But then I remember that I have been blessed with a circle of friends and family members who show that there are truly good folk in the world. It may take us longer to get to the finish line but at least we can do so with our heads held high and with dignity. I know if I give in to the dark side and join the ranks of the bad guys that TK would never forgive me and I would not be able to see him again. He is in the realm of the good and his passing reminds me that I need to live up to his standards in order to see him when it's my time.

TK - I'll see you soon. Thanks for teaching me French swear words. I'll be waiting for you to carve me a nice big inca necklace, okay? I still won't eat any crunchy bat wings though.

TK was the sole support of the family so we are trying to help EK financially. If you can make a donation, no matter how small, please drop it off at Native Winds Gift Gallery and Craft Supply at 1152 Koko Head Avenue (734-018). We will probably have some fundraisers in the future to help too and can also use a few hands helping EK move.