To quote the Diva, "I am so sick of you being a STAGE MOM" (exit stage right).
Recently, the twins had a big sixth grade promotion ceremony at their school. Yes, you read that right, a big production for graduating from sixth grade. Perhaps that would have some significance if their school only went up to sixth grade and the kids were all going to different intermediate schools or even to a different campus of the same school. However, as stated by the Professor, "When you think about it, it is kind of stupid to have a ceremony to commemorate that we will be walking 30 feet or so to another building." Nonetheless, family members flew in from the Neighbor Islands and the Mainland, hundreds of leis were purchased and crochets and those us on the Committee busted our proud parental okoles to make the day a great one (or at a minimal, not a major disaster).
While I was in my usual neurotic volunteer mode most of the morning, camped out in the cafeteria getting ready for the lunch crowd and watching the live feed of the ceremony, I did go into the Chapel when it came time for awards to be presented. In the past few weeks, people had been coming up to tell me how they were sure the twins would get a bunch of awards and as much as I made totally Japanese (looked downward, bowed head, said, "No, no, no, no, no", in my black little heart of evil, I hoped it was true.
The Headmasters List certificates were presented for GPA and first the Professor went up, then the Diva. Then the Professor got an award for his character. Then I waited for them to go up again....and waited...and waited..and waited...... The chirping of crickets getting louder and louder in my head. I swear I even saw my parents turn and look at me as if to say, "Are we are the right place? What's happening? Why aren't they winning anything?"
I had to choke back tears! Not a single award to the kids? I was totally crushed and worried about how I would face them when they exited. How would I deal with their disappointment while trying to disguise my own? Maybe I'd just hide out in the cafeteria and avoid them until we went home. Would they be able to hide their feelings of failure in front of a crowd? Would they fall apart when they saw us? Why don't I have any kleenix? I held my breath and felt my heart pounding as the students slowly exited.
The two came out of chapel with huge smiles, looking absolutely proud and happy. Beaming with joy, in the company of their classmates, those few with awards and the many without. To them, the awards did not matter at all. They simply didn't care about it. All that mattered at that moment was being a part of this day, of sharing this accomplishment with their friends - old comrades they grew up with from Kindergarten to newbies who they met in Sixth Grade. The significance of the day in their short lives overshadowed any awards or accolades.
I felt totally relieved but still P.O'd. That's the overbearing stage mom in me, I guess. Rather than be happy with what they were academic winners and to be pleased that they both received the one award that in the long run really matters, I chose to focus on what I saw as a loss. Why wasn't the Professor the top Social Studies student? What did the Diva fail to do so as to blow the Musical Theatre award? Why weren't they better than the other kids who won? More importantly to me anyway, why did they not care about why they weren't better than the other kids who won?
The answer they gave was so simple yet straight to the point, "It's just a piece of paper, Mom. It really doesn't matter. Plus everyone knows that only the K-A students win and we don't want to be that way." True dat.
At first, I wanted to tell them that I would prefer they master the skill of brown-nosing so I could cover the walls of our house with awards and certificates. But then, being the unorganized and messy person that I am, I do not have a single one of their certificates framed or hanging anywhere and most of their awards in the closet living amongst the dust bunnies and dead centipedes. Clearly, if they were really that important, they would have all been given places of honor. Instead, what hangs on the walls of our house are the Professor's insightful and hilarious poems about what a dysfunctional family we are, the Diva's delightful doodles which painfully depict how we all look, and the Mad Cow's hubba hubba dot charts, awarded for good deeds and kindness shown to others. These items are what I am proud of, of the kids' creativity, fearlessness and compassion. They are nice kids who speak and act from the heart and after all, isn't that what every parent wants in their child? Yes, they can have their Damien 666 moments, but I know if there is someone in need, they will lend a hand (so long as the person doesn't smell or look "hobo-ish", in which case, they will call 911 and stand out of inhaling range).
However, being my children and genetically predisposed to feel superior to all beings, they did add these snarky comments to the whole Award discussion:
"Everyone said it was JUICE since the new kids won a lot."
"He always does whatever the teacher says so of course, he would win."
"I didn't want to write an essay that would be full of lies just because the teachers wanted something sappy and sentimental."
"Who would want to talk about something that is meaningless to everyone?"
"I don't think it is fair that people who got B's got the same award as those of us who had straight A's. There should be an extra special award given to those with all As."
Ah, be critical and make me proud!!!!!
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