The twins and I went to see the newest installment of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I heard someone on TV say that it was like Harry Potter meets Gossip Girl since the movie focused more on the characters' budding teenage hormones than magic, battling he-who-shall-not-be-named or anything that the franchise is known for. I know, as a parent, that sounds horrible but as an old lady who was stunned by the grown up Daniel Radcliffe posing nekkid on the Equus poster, it had promise.
Unfortunately, the object of lust in the movie was Ron Weasley. Yes, you read that right - Ron Weasley. You definitely know this is a work of fiction since Hermoine chooses Ron over the tall, hunky blonde jock - something that only happens in John Hughes movies and never in real life.
What I found interesting was that Harry Potter is a rainbow dater. In the last film, he had the hots for a Chinese student and in this movie, he is hit on by a black waitress. Poor guy is blocked from a "jungle fever" experience by Dumbledore though (clearly setting off all of those bloggers who ponder whether Dumbledore and Harry are members of the Man/Boy society). Does he end up with either of them? No, he sticks to the white way and ends up with Ginny Weasley, Ron's sister who thankfully does not look like anyone else in her family.
Now those of you who know me well know that I am a punk at heart and if I could, I would dress like I was going to an Amish funeral every day (all black from head to toe). This is why my favorite character an
d the love of my dark dank heart is Snape. I just ADORE me some snape. The way his icy eyes shoot out lasers of pure unadulterated evil, the way he hisses "Mr. Potter", everything he does is just so achingly horrific - I love it. However, it seems that middle age has caught up with him and I couldn't help but notice (if my kids are reading this I know they are getting ready to cringe) that he has grown an enormous set of man boobs! They were totally visible under his cloaks and with every profile shot of Snape, I felt like they were using a Pamela Anderson body double. It was disturbing and broke my heart. It was like flashing back to that moment on MTV when Kiss took off their makeup and you got to see what they really looked like. With the exception of Paul Stanley who looked totally the same with or without white face, you wished they would put the makeup back on so you could erase their images from your mind.
d the love of my dark dank heart is Snape. I just ADORE me some snape. The way his icy eyes shoot out lasers of pure unadulterated evil, the way he hisses "Mr. Potter", everything he does is just so achingly horrific - I love it. However, it seems that middle age has caught up with him and I couldn't help but notice (if my kids are reading this I know they are getting ready to cringe) that he has grown an enormous set of man boobs! They were totally visible under his cloaks and with every profile shot of Snape, I felt like they were using a Pamela Anderson body double. It was disturbing and broke my heart. It was like flashing back to that moment on MTV when Kiss took off their makeup and you got to see what they really looked like. With the exception of Paul Stanley who looked totally the same with or without white face, you wished they would put the makeup back on so you could erase their images from your mind. Speaking of disturbing, we went to see G-Force, the guinea pig super agent movie. Yes, it was about as good as it sounds by the premise. I was kind of looking forward to it since I really enjoy Tracy Morgan (Brian Fellow, Brian Fellow) but his guinea pig, Blaster, was such a stereotype. He had a pimped out hamster ball complete with a loud speaker system. The best part of the movie was Steve Buscemi who did the voice of a hostile and paranoid hamster. No, wait, the best part of the movie was when I fell asleep.
The villian was a Mole who may have been Asian. His alias was a Mr. Yanchow or something like that. Because he was Asian (or Asian-a
djacent which is my new favorite phrase coined by Margaret Cho who used it to describe Jon Gosselin), he was nearsighted, needed glasses to see, was disloyal, and was the computer geek. What was most disturbing about this character was the pink thing at the end of his nose that moved like a sea anemone. You half expected nemo and other clown fish to start swimming around it. It really was distracting.
djacent which is my new favorite phrase coined by Margaret Cho who used it to describe Jon Gosselin), he was nearsighted, needed glasses to see, was disloyal, and was the computer geek. What was most disturbing about this character was the pink thing at the end of his nose that moved like a sea anemone. You half expected nemo and other clown fish to start swimming around it. It really was distracting. G-Force was terrible. It was the first Disney movie that I took the kids to where they didn't immediately start nagging to go and buy the toys.
omg that is so gross u perv
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